carissa (carkass) wrote,

That's how the light gets in

so, i decided maybe i need to write in here more since
there is now a link to this journal from a different journal.

my (not so) new friends have been working on a community project for the past year, not as long as they'd intended to be in the still building phases. i have been learning a lot going to the meetings they have every week keeping people updated on the progress. there is a lot of red tape to get through: meetings with city officials, fire inspections, parking laws, etc etc. see, they're going to lease the upstairs of the old fraser valley inn in downtown abbotsford that has been empty since all it's tenants were kicked out in 2005 due to unruly behavior. there are twenty rooms and, i believe, eight-teen bathrooms, one kitchen and a common area. there are questions of security and how they will screen potential candidates for living there.
i think i am most impressed with the persistence and endurance these people have to making this a real thing. and all the hoops they've jumped through already for the city, and all the research done, and all the things that have been put in motion. thus far i haven't had any intention of living in the community because i have a stable thing here with my mum at the moment. but who knows where i will stand when everything goes through.
though, honestly, i'm also scared of living in such close proximity to that many people. because with community you get to know people really well. and i'm not sure i want people to know me that well. or maybe i don't want to know them that well. or at least i think i don't. when really, i just don't like being disappointed. i forget that, although i accept people quite readily, i actually have pretty high expectations of others. and sometimes when they show me their flaws i back off, or i back off when they see mine. getting really close to people scares the shit out of me. but it's still something i crave like nothing else.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

-Leonard Cohen
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